JH: Hello. I just downloaded some illegal MP3s and my friend told me that the RAII is going to sue everyone who downloads music. What should I do?
RIAA: Hold on just a sec.
[There was a hold of about two minutes. I was desperately afraid they were tracing my call, and that Agent Smith would come smashing through my door at any moment, wielding the severed arm of Jimmy Carter. But I courageously waited it out.]
RIAA: The best advice I can offer you at this moment is to go to dub-dub-dub-musicunited.org and you can learn there how to uninstall your peer-to-peer software or file-sharing service.
JH: But I don’t have a pee service. Someone just e-mailed me a song and I listened to it. Am I going to jail?
See the related link for the rest.